


Beefy Bulbasaur

by battoff



Series: If I [Come Out], It’s On My Own Terms [4]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Jake Dillinger, Disabled Character, Disabled Jake Dillinger, Gendervoid Jenna Rolan, Multi, Non-binary character, Trans Character, Trans Jake Dillinger, Trans Male Character, also I love Jenna Rolan bye, let me have this okay, take from that what you will, the meremine is hella lowkey but also implied so, unintentional misgendering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 21:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battoff/pseuds/battoff
Summary: The one where Pokémon rules, forts are made, and Jenna gets some love.





	Beefy Bulbasaur

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I’m love Jenna Rolan? 
> 
> Jenna in my works is trans feminine gendervoid, Mexican, Jewish, and uses sie/hir pronouns because they sound like she/her and, therefore, make misgendering not hurt as much. Let me have this. 
> 
> Also, this is my first time writing Jake explicitly as an autistic character so if I messed up don’t be afraid to ~~punch me in the face~~ correct me. 
> 
> And I’ve been overwhelmed these past two days so enjoy some overwhelmed Jakey D.

The table shakes a bit when Jake all but throws himself onto his seat. He rests his elbows on the table to hold up his head, a dopey grin on his face. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he feels complete and utter affection fluttering in his ribcage. “I think I’m in love.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chloe pushes half of her sandwich in his direction, “we’ve heard this all before. Eat your lunch before you die.”

Christine seems a bit more optimistic about Jake’s condition. “So tell us lover boy, who’s the lucky person?”

Jake tilts his head slightly to look up at Christine, his insides warm and joy bubbling out of his throat. “Oh, Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon.” The groaning reply is almost instantaneous. “I thought it was just gonna be the same as Pokémon Sun and Moon with only tiny changes but no. I was wrong to doubt the Pokémon franchise.” His feet start stamping out his excitement, hands twitching up and down in the subtlest way possible. “Like, gosh golly, fuck me up really. It looks so good! They brought Team Rocket back and they’re gayer than ever—”

“Is that even possible?”

“Apparently.” Jake giggles, all giddy and—yep, his hands are going under the table to shake away his feelings. “I mean—wow, just _wow_. They’re pulling out all the stops. Old legendaries are coming back—and _Giratina_ —and old starters are making an entrance—and _Bulbasaur_ —and—and—” His hands come back up to hide his face as his legs kick into overdrive. He’s going to regret this come tonight when he finally rests but right now he can’t find it in himself to care.

“That’s cool.” _Please stop talking._ “You’re coming to play rehearsal, though, right?” Christine watches him expectantly.

He looks around the table to see everyone bored, poking at their food, waiting for him to shut up so they can really start a conversation. Embarrassment fills him. His throat seizes up and he swallows down the urge to cry or not talk for the rest of the day because that’s _lame_ and he’s _cool_ and— “I’m gonna try to get some projects done in the library today. Sorry Christine.” Her eyebrows furrow, mouth setting into a frown. He curses himself for not using a nickname. He let himself slip up. Again. “I should actually get started on that. Study hall, you know?” He gets up from the table, crutches in hand, gives a quick farewell, and makes a hasty exit before anyone can reprimand him for not eating lunch.

…

The library doesn’t provide much of a sanctuary. Still, it’s better than facing the others. He really doesn’t want to be laughed at. Not again.

Even though libraries are supposed to be quiet, it’s overwhelmingly loud. Keyboards click, students ~~gossip obnoxiously~~ converse with one another, chairs scrape against the dingy tiles, the printers process copies. It’s a cacophony of noises that gets under Jake’s skin, has his chest tight, gives him the feeling that he’s wearing _too much_ and everything is _too much_.

He hides under his sweater, scratching at his arms to get rid of this horrible sensation. The cubicle’s wooden desk provides little comfort for his head but what can he do?

“Jake?” Purple rain boots stand next to him. “Wanna sleep over my house? We’re having alfredo pasta for dinner.”

His growling stomach is all the response Jenna needs.

…

Jenna left him in her room almost as soon as they arrived. Said something about doing some errands, and she would be right back. “Make yourself at home.” Then she grinned a wide grin that made his heart warm before heading outside.

As soon as he hears the front door shut close, he gets to work on stripping down to his underwear. A small pile of his clothes finds itself in a corner of the room along with his sneakers. Next, he grabs the admittedly large amount of blankets on her bed and forms them into a fort. She’s got the good blankets. “The good kush” as Michael would call it, immediately prompting a light smack from Jeremy. They’re the soft ones that feel nice to pass your palms over. Jake loves them. Those go on the inside of his little igloo, the bigger, heavier blankets covering everything else.

Once he’s sufficiently engulfed in blankets, he puts in his headphones and plays his music as loud as he can bear it. It’s a nice instrumental playlist Michael made for him that thrums good vibrations throughout his body. His insides go a bit warm as he listens to the symphony of trumpets, saxophones, and drums, knows Michael chose the songs just for him because he loves jazz. He keeps his eyes closed as he bounces along to the song and remembers how much he loves the Mell household. The smell of home cooked meals circulates throughout the house, the basement filled with candles, plenty of small places to hide from the rest of the world in.

He can wax poetry about Michael’s house for hours on end. It makes him feel good. _Michael_ makes him feel good. He can stay there the longest out of all his friends’ homes before the itch starts under his skin, brain already gone someplace else. Just thinking about it has him better than he was earlier today.

When he finally opens his eyes Jenna is sat on the floor in front of him. She’s tapping something out on her phone with an intense concentration all her own. She’s got her hair up in a messy bun that’s already losing some strands to gravity. Her rain boots are gone, revealing fluffy socks with polka dots. She looks... _nice_. He stops his music, clearing his throat. “Hey.” _Huh_. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he hears his own voice, soft and mushy and, oddly enough, distinctly _Christine_ , but _Jeremy_ and _Michael_ , too. It’s odd, he’s not mimicking anyone so why—?

“Hey yourself.” She sets her phone down to look at him. Her lips are pulled back in a smile that has his throat tight but he doesn’t want to cry. Not now. Especially not now. “Ariel burned the sauce so she heated up some matzoh ball soup from Monday. You mind?”

“Rolo, you could hand me dog food and I’d probably thank you.”

She laughs at that and, _God_ , what a laugh it is. Jake’s never heard her go at it with full force. He doesn’t think he can go back. She throws her head back with the force of it, part of it basically just snorting while the other half is high-pitched squeals. “Jeez Jake! Like I’d ever do that to you. What do you take me for?”

“A smart lady who could take us all out in a heartbeat.” A pause. “Hey, hand me my clothes please?”

She turns around, spotting his pile. “Dude, are you, like, naked?”

“I have my boxers on?”

“Why do you sound so unsure about that?” Despite the question, Jenna doesn’t appear too concerned about the situation. “I have a half naked Jake Dillinger on my bed. And they said it couldn’t be done.” They laugh. She hands him his clothes. “Freshman me would be dying right about now. Give me a kiss and I can finally nail the coffin on that one.”

He puts on his binder then his shirt and pants. “What d'ya mean by that?”

“Wouldn’t’ve,” is her immediate reply. It earns her a chuckle as he gets up and sheds his layers. “Well, it shouldn’t be a surprise since half the school has a massive crush on you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He has to tilt his head down to meet her gaze. Man, he hasn’t done her justice, has he? Now that he’s seen her up, close, and personal. She blows at a piece of hair that’s fallen in her face, cheeks puffing up. “I had a crush on you, obviously.”

“Obviously?”

“ _Obviously_.”

“Well, apparently not because I never noticed.” He pauses, looks at her, really looks at her. At her tan face and droopy eyelashes. At her painted nails and bitten cuticles. At her extremely straight brown hair with purple streaks Rich gave her weeks back. He looks at her and can’t, for the life of him, understand how he could ever look away. “Hey.”

“What?” Her lip’s between her teeth, eyes flitting around her room.

“I like you.”

“I like you, too, Jake.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

“Oh.” The realization sets in, her shoulders sinking as she finally looks at him. “I’m not a girl.”

“That’s fine. I’m not either. I’m a guy.”

“ _I’m_ not a guy.”

“That’s okay, too.”

“I’m neither.”

“I’m glad you told me but that still changes nothing. Can I kiss you?”

There’s a deafening pause. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Jake smiles as a giddy feeling settles in his chest, not unlike the one he had during lunch, and he leans down. She—They? They lean up with it and he’s suddenly glad he’s obsessed with chapstick. The kiss is quick, chaste, but it leaves his hands shaking from the joy of it all.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first work in the Jake/Jenna tag that’s actually serious I think? The actual first one says that it’s a joke chapter so I dunno. If I’m wrong tell me and I’ll fix my mistakes. But yeah, I love this ship and it’s super cute and underrated I hope y’all are thrown on the bus because of this work. 
> 
> On another note, my writing would collapse if the word _and_ didn’t exist. I used it about fifty times I might die from the repetition but it’s such a good word to express my inability to write emotions. 
> 
> Jenna lives with hir older sister Ariel, an oc, whose name means “lion of God” in Hebrew which I thought was pretty hecking cool. She’s trying her best but alfredo is difficult, okay?


End file.
